Discernments and Realizations

September 29, 2008

Watching a movie really takes my heart pumps fast because of excitement, especially when it really catches my attention. This was my feeling when I watched the film "The Phantom of the Opera" last September 22 in the Arete Discussion, one of the activities in Philosophy Week. Many claimed that this was really a good movie. I have no clue at first how the story goes, but one thing was circling my mind this film is worthy to watch.

As the film was rolling, many thoughts came into my very imaginative mind. I thought that this would really scares me because it simply reflects in the title. But as the story goes, I realized that it was not all about horror or suspense. There was puzzle to be solved and many questions I started to conceptualize. Who was the Phantom? Is there really an opera ghost? How the people in the opera house deals with this Phantom of the Opera? These were some of the questions I would like to be answered but unfortunately these were left hanging because of the power supply problem.

Eagerness of knowing what happened in the end, I searched the summary in the web. I found the answers to some of my questions but I was not satisfied. Reading the synopsis of the story help me realized what was the essence at all. It was how the characters played their roles and these roles portrayed different type of personality that we people could relate to, especially when it comes to love.

The character of the Phantom showed that we could do our own way to prove others what we feel. A love for someone was really a strong key to do an extraordinary thing. That was how he expressed her loved for Christine (the lead singer in the play). He did everything to win her heart. But sometimes there are things that we should let go if we feel that it is not meant for us. Based on what I've read in the web he set her free and let her be with Raoul(the childhood friend of Christine). I realized that letting go makes our personality grow stronger. And letting go doesn't mean that we have to forget the person we love, we just have to accept the fact that other person/s make/s them happy.

While Christine who was very amazing had made a strong belief that the phantom existed. She didn't let her stand go down. That was the spirit we must have in order to motivate ourselves in doing an action. if we know how to defend our claim, we just have to carry with us the justifications. We must not be easily persuaded by others of what they believed in. That was the character played by her. She rendered how to carry the love for the things she believed in.

The whole story covers how love could be express in different ways. Love for the opera, parents, friends, loved ones, beliefs and things we consider that determines our lives. All these were greatly interpreted by the characters. And I feel that these really be practiced in our everyday lives. (I hope I could finish watching the whole story.)

>>reflection paper ko to sa philosophy class namin.. just wanna share it with you.. (d ko yan napacheck kung tama lahat grammar..hehe pasensya nlang po..)

Timepers

September 15, 2008

Hanggang ngayon, hindi ko magets kung bakit nung mga bata pa tayo pag gusto nating itigil pansamantala ang laro eh ang sinasabi natin ay "timepers". Time first? Ewan. Anyway, speaking of laro nung tayo'y mga bata, gusto ko lang i-share sa entry na ito ang sa tingin ko ay ang mga pinakawalang kwentang laro na nilaro natin nun.

3. "Name Race"
===> Hindi ko talaga alam ang tawag sa larong ito pero ito yung laro na ang pangalan lang natin ang ating pamato. Bale may isang taya tapos magbibigay siya ng letra. Kung ilan yung ganung titik sa pangalan mo, ganun din karami yung ii-step forward mo o kaya'y ilulukso. Unahang makarating dun sa kung saan yung taya. Nasabi kong walang kwenta ito dahil kahit sinong gustong papanalunin nung taya, pwede. Magsasabi lang siya ng letra na papabor dun sa nais niyang mauna. Tapos yung ayaw niya talaga, kawawa.

2. Paramihan ng tao
===> Ito ang number 1 na laro sa loob ng classroom. And kahit wala siyang kwenta, nakakaadik siya ng sobra. Una, kukuha ng libro tapos pipili ng side, kanan o kaliwa. Tapos sa bawat lipat ng pahina, kung kaninong side yung mas maraming tao, siyang panalo at pipitik sa natalo. Ang problema lang sa laro na ito eh hindi library ang classroom. So basically, ulit-ulit lang ang mga librong ginagamit, textbooks. At dahil dun, pwede mo munang ireview ang mga aklat na meron kayo bago makipaglaro. Haha! Talagang may review pa. Exam?

1. Kotseng Kuba Lock
===> Siguradong alam mo na ang tinutukoy ko. Ito yung laro na hindi talaga laro. Bale parang pang-asar lang talaga siya. Ang tanging kailangan lang eh mauna ka dapat makakita run sa kotseng kuba. Dahil kung hindi eh siguradong tatamaan ka sa ulo. MASAKIT! At ang mas masakit pa eh pagkatapos mong mabatukan, makikita mo na ang mga kasama mo na nakasaludo. Meaning, hindi mo na sila pwedeng batukan. (Bakit kaya kapag binabatukan ka eh hindi batok kundi ulo ang tinatamaan?) At pag ganun, talagang maaasar ka ng todo dahil di ka makaganti. Lesson: Laging magsuot ng helmet.

Yun na. Kung sa tingin niyo eh may mas walang kwenta pa sa mga yun, paki-comment na lang at nang malaman nating lahat. Hanggang dito na lang. May paparaan kasing Beetle (di na ngayon kotseng kuba ang tawag). Scout salute!

Deadline

September 12, 2008

Kung pwede lang, mas gusto ko sana kung alam ko yung eksaktong petsa ng aking kamatayan. Sh*t! Ano na naman ang tinira ko at bigla kong naisip ang kamatayan? Alam ko namang matagal pa 'yun. Masamang damo.

Hindi pero totoo, mas ok talaga kung alam ko kung kailan ko lilisanin ang mundo. Kasi pag ganun, magkakaroon ako ng sense of urgency na ma-accomplish lahat ng nais ko sa buhay. Pag ganun, mamamatay ako na walang unfinished business. Mawawala ako na hindi nagreregret sa kung anumang hindi ko nagawa. Tapos kasi pag ganun, pati yung mga tao sa paligid ko apektado. Pati sila mapipilitan sila na gawin nila yung nais nila sa akin or yung nais nila kasama ako. Sobrang saya siguro nun.

Happiest days for sure yung mga araw na yun. Hindi sila tulad ng mga araw bago yung deadline ng isang school project. Nagmamadali pero walang kaayusan. Hindi sila kagaya ng mga oras bago ang isang importanteng exam. Kinakabahan para lang ma-mental block. Yun yung tipong deadline na alam mong pagkatapos magiging masaya ang lahat. Tahimik.

Ngayon kasi, que sera sera. Gusto ko lang magising, kumain tapos matulog. Pero siguro kung alam ko na next month or next year na malalagutan na ako ng hininga, magsisimula na siguro akong gumawa ng mga makabuluhang mga bagay. Susubukan ko lahat ang mga nais ko pang maranasan. Aamin na rin nun siguro ako sa kanya (ang magreact, pangit!). Pero talaga, mas ok talaga siguro kung alam ko na yung araw na yun para maipahanda ko na yung aking lapida. Basta ba huwag lang akong sabihan one day bago yun. Six months pwede na.

RELATED MOVIE: The Bucket List

Dress Calendar

September 6, 2008

Para sa entry na ito, gusto ko lang ishare ang isang bagay na aking sinimulan ngayong semester. Tinatawag ko itong aking dress calendar.


Bale ang pinaka-purpose niya eh ang mamaximize yung gamit ng aking limited number na damit. Nag-aaral ako sa isang university na walang uniform kaya yun, bawat araw na may pasok, ibang damit. Kaya ngayon, meron akong excel file kung saan nililista ko yung sinusuot kong pantaas sa bawat araw. Yung pants kasi inuulit ko dahil di naman masyadong halata tsaka para makabawas sa labahan. Pero para sa mga gustong mag-try nitong dress calendar lalo na sa mga babae, mas ok kung mas specific. Mas maayos kung yung buong get-up yung nakalista para mapagmi-mix and match mo yung mga damit mo at nang dumami pa yung pwede mong isuot. Kahit sa isang totoong kalendaryo lang kayo maglista, basta nababasa, ok na.

Wala naman sigurong masama. Ako, it's not that I really care sa kung anumang sasabihin ng iba pero ganito lang talaga siguro ako ka-organized. Dati sa pananali ng sintas ng sapatos lang ako talagang maayos (na tinatawanan ng iba) pero ngayon, lumala na. At least, napapahaba ko yung buhay ng aking mga damit. Nakakatipid ako. Nakakasave din pala ng oras yung ganitong habit dahil di na kailangan masyadong mag-isip kung ano yung isusuot. Tapos nakakatulong pa sa akin dahil kahit di karamihan ang mga damit ko eh di masyadong halata. Though sabi ko nga, wala naman talaga akong pakialam sa sinasabi ng iba. Basta para sa akin, mas mabuti nang di nangangapa kaysa maging isang burara.

temptations

“What was the hardest thing you’ve ever done in your life?”

This was the very vague or broad topic I had for my impromptu speech. When I picked it, it was really hard to think considering that I know that I really am not a creative person with this kind of thing. In addition to that is the stage fright that is really hard to ignore when you are already in front of the audience. But since that speech has a very big contribution on my grade to our speech class, I told myself that I must do this thing and I have no choice but to do this thing with the best attitude that I can. So, I geared up and stood in front of my 27 person audience.

I delivered a very shallow speech . I just thought at that time that my speech was enough to awe or involve my audience. Maybe, it was because of the nervousness that I felt at that time that made me think of the shallowness of my speech. Also, maybe it was also because of the nervousness that I felt that it was the best thing that I can do with my speech. But now, I think, I can do better than that . So, I hope that I can make it up with this journal.

“What was the hardest thing you’ve ever done in your life?”

Since I was a child, I was oriented by my parents to prioritize my studies because it was the best thing that I can do for myself and for my family. So, anything that can distract my concentration on my studies, I must ignore them. I call these things temptations and ignoring the number one temptation for me is the second hardest thing I’ve ever done in my 18 years of existence. The first one, as you may remember, was letting my father go to one of the most dangerous places on this earth to work. And the second one will be ignoring the temptation of having a romantic relationship.

I was linked mutually more than once with a guy since elementary. During my elementary days, I was able to ignore that feeling because I kept reminding myself that those kinds of feelings are not true and do not last forever at that early age. I entered high school and again, I had the same feelings with different guys . I think that the feelings just shifted to a different person because I had the intuition of rejection even before we have settled things between us. But at the end, I realized that the feelings are not really the same because they had different intensities and sources. I really can’t describe the feeling, but in general, it hurts. In my life, I’ve experienced 2 greatest longings, happiness, and hurt. These happened because I have to ignore the temptation of involving myself more with these special persons. During those times, I had this very painful prick that gave me maximum of 3 crying nights. I knew that I am not hurting only myself but I am also hurting those 2 different persons because I chose to ignore the temptation of having deeper relationships with them. Again, during those times, for my and my family’s future, I had to ignore the temptation. Damn. Why does my future have to hurt my present and past that much?

I am not an emo, but maybe at this point, I am. Because for the nth time, I am ignoring another temptation for my more secure future. I am not yet involved deeply with him, but I know, I am nearing there. Ignoring this temptation is hard right now, I do not want it to be harder.

--inuulit ko po, hindi ako emo, dito lang siguro.haha. sarap magsulat! Wuhoo!